Chartering Ceremony

Sorry for not writing in a while, I've had so much homework. It's been awful.

Today was the chartering ceremony for my friend's fraternity, Alpha Sigma Phi. I'm really happy for them. They looked so proud up there in their suits and whatnot. They're at the fraternity's party right now, probably getting wasted. Sarah, Ryan and I didn't go, though. Sarah went back to the dorms apparently, and Ryan and I ended up looking for everyone's Christmas gifts. Although, something surprising happened..... I actually went on a date with him! It was odd, because last year, idk, it just seemed like he he hated my guts, haha. Regardless, it was honestly a lot of fun. Hanging out with Ryan's always really thrilling because he's so spontaneous. I wish he knew how amazing of a guy he really is. He has severe depression, so he's usually not that happy. Kinda like me with my anxiety. I'm always scared, haha. Oh well. I used to be constantly scared and sad, but at least now it's just scared, right? Eh... that's not much better.

Anyway, I may be on academic probation next year. I'm nervous about that, because if I don't get above a C average GPA, that's where I'm headed, and then I'd be forced to go to tutoring and all this other stuff and I'd feel like a total loser. I mean, I already kinda feel like that, but... more so I suppose.  

Also, I'm still trying to get over Josh. It's difficult. Sometimes when I see the way he looks at Sarah, I just get so sad. It's like a dagger to the heart sometimes. I just need to get over it. If I were supposed to be with him I would be but..... I waited and waited and..... I never even had a chance.