Zach

I will never understand you or how you work. You will never understand me or how I work, either. Frankly, I don't think you deserve to anymore. I was about to give you everything, that's the scariest thing about all of this. Do you even understand how scary that is? I doubt it. I doubt you've ever had your heart crushed, so how could you understand? I'm right, I know it. I think I've figured out something! You've never let yourself  be entirely vulnerable in somebody else's arms before, have you? You've never truly fully put yourself out there, so how could you understand how I feel? You're so into yourself that you probably didn't even notice how my eyes lit up when I saw you. Good. They never should have. You said that I wasn't a bother. You said a lot of things I didn't believe like that I was the prettiest girl on campus. Or that I was talented when I drew that shitty sketch on your notepad. I bet you took my butterfly sticker off your door. I bet when you get back you're going to rip out those notes and rewrite them on something I haven't touched. I bet you'll wash your sheets and comforter. I hope you do. Please. Erase me entirely from your life. Just know that I'm taking myself back from you. You don't get to keep me, you don't have the right. I feel there's a shard that slipped away sometime between the lies or the long hugs at three am, and it's calling me; It wants to come home. I don't trust you anymore. I never should have, and I know that now. I wish I'd known it sooner. You were nothing but a learning experience. Sure, I'll see you around campus more than likely. You'll probably try to avoid me, but there's not much you can do. I'll be ready to look you in the eyes and then pretend I didn't see you at all. I'll be ready to disregard you entirely. I'm ready for you to leave. I'm ready for you to delete me on facebook. I know now that you wont respond to my texts. That you wont call back. That you never had intentions to. I know not to rely on you anymore. I know now that you're not worth my time, and more importantly, that to you, I was never worth your time from the beginning. I never had a chance, but that's okay. I'll have chances with other guys, with other girls. With people that truly want to be with me. People that want me not just when it's convenient to them. People that wont leave me hanging day after day. So yes, I'm ready. I can't be bothered to cry over you anymore. I can't be too upset to eat, I can't cry myself to sleep anymore over you. My body wont let me. I've had enough. I will not be miserable over somebody who treats me like dust.