Drunk Kid Catholic

It's not that I'm impatient, it's that I've been patient for too long. This is all I've ever known. I can't let myself start to believe that this is what I deserve, and that's what's going to happen if I stay. I have to go. I just have to. I love you so much. I'd die for you, you know that? You're so bright. 

I can't watch you be with her. It hurts too much. It hurts that you don't love me the way I love you, but honestly, seeing you with her hurts more than it all. It's not me. It's never me. 

I could sob right now. There's a boulder on my back and a glacier on my chest, and somehow I haven't been crushed by them yet but I wish it would just finish me off. It would be better than sticking around to see this. It would be better than lying through my teeth every time I say I'm okay. It would be better than smiling at you like I have a painful secret and not like a smile should be. It would be better than tip toeing around campus because if I see you my heart will flutter and I'll have that sharp pain in my chest taunting me saying "He doesn't love you and he never will".

Oh my God i just wish you were mine

I just want to hold you close

but you'd say no in a second if it were proposed

I'd say I wish I never met you

but without you what would I do?

I believe I'd have died in the shower last year

if I hadn't pinky promised you otherwise

but this semester, nothing's the same.

Now, I can't look you in the eyes.