abusive relationship poem

I actually really like the rain

And I used to open

The windows a little

To hear the thunder more

But you closed them 

Because "water would seep in"

Even though that never happened.

And once you

Bought me expensive makeup

And I felt really great

Until you commanded me

To cover the bruises.

And sometimes when

I'm on the beach

I think about the time we fought

So bad that in the end

I thought maybe if I just

Swam far out enough 

I could end it all.

And you'd make fun of my ocd

Even though actually

It might have saved me a couple times

I could never get the note just right.

Still can't.