Anxiety

Maybe I'm looking at this more like I'm the victim, I don't know. Math is going terrible again. I was going to stay after for tutoring today but apparently there wasn't tutoring because the teacher that volunteered wasn't even there today. I nearly missed my bus. I just want everything to be over. I want to be anxiety free most of all, though. Even my social anxiety is getting worse, but I don't think that's math. That's just me. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't even talk to people I used to be able to talk to and it's my own fault. I don't know what to do to make myself realize everyone doesn't hate me and it's all in my head but most times I try to talk to people I think of everything there is to hate and then I couldn't possibly try to talk to them. People think I act the way I act to make them laugh or I'm just awkward but not many people know that I actually have anxiety and honestly I don't want to tell anybody because then they'll treat me differently. Like there's something wrong with me, ugh. I can't go through that again.