I can't believe my mom doesn't remember me telling her I was suicidal back in middle school though. I don't get it. It was late, but she was listening, she looked at me and was really quiet, I remember this like it was yesterday. Did I dream it or something? I don't know. I feel like shit. How could she not remember? I  had to explain to her how the night went and she still didn't remember. How could you forget I told you I was suicidal? I wanted to kill myself. I'd thought of hanging myself with sheets from the closet at my dad's house. I'd thought of jumping off the mississippi bridge. I'd thought of so many ways and I wrote it down and fucking threw it away after I showed my step sister. Does she remember? does anyone remember? was I that invisible? Really? I don't get it. What the fuck, how could you not remember? HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER?