Trying to find my spark

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so depressed sometimes. I feel alone even when I'm with my friends, and I feel like I can't tell them because they wont know what to do or they'll feel bad or feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel so inadequate sometimes. I feel like my depression is trying to take over, and it's scaring me. I'm so anxious and scared all of the time, so much that I can't even enjoy every day things I used to enjoy without thinking too much about it. I especially feel like I'm growing farther and farther away from Josh. I feel like I'm watching myself disappear from everyone's life in a way. I feel like I'm not here even when I am. Am I going crazy? Maybe it's just me.